The day I lost you ...

I recall the day I was told that you were no more. I could not believe my ears. Once again my world had come crashing down before my very eyes. As I watched the staff at the ICU remove you from life support, it broke my heart into a million pieces. A beautiful and bright young life, gone too soon. My mind was chaotic yet my body felt lifeless and I realized that a huge part of me had died too. I had lost you forever, the forehead I once kissed, the hands I once held, the voice I loved to hear speak, the laughter that brought joy into my life was now gone forever. As they wheeled your lifeless body away, it shattered me to know that you were never coming back into these arms. I would never open the front door to your lovely smile or tired look at the end of each working day. How, we had often talked about designing your wedding outfits and now I had to brave myself to buy an outfit to dress you in as we prepared to lay you to rest. How, we often talked about the traditional turmeric bath we would give you a day before your wedding and now I had to unzip the bag they had placed you in to give you your final bath. You looked peaceful, you looked as if you were just sound asleep. I gently kissed your forehead and your cheeks and caressed your head. I did not want to let you go my child, and it should have been me laying on the cold concrete slab and not my gentle princess. You had touched so many lives in the short time that you were here. Many had turned up to say their final goodbye with heavy hearts and teary eyes. As I watched the doors to the furnace open to embrace you, I knew that I would never ever recover from the pain of losing you and of having to lay you to rest way before me.

~Always Your Mama